How are you doing?
It has been quite the effort to process all the thoughts, feelings and changes that have taken place over the past month for me and our family moving across the world. Many of you back in the states have asked how we are doing, how we are feeling. Our responses have usually been pretty brief as it is hard for us to understand the full scope of how we are doing, let alone be able to relate that to you. We are grateful for the concern and thankful that God has placed people in our lives who care so deeply for us, so much so that to ask about how we are doing, to pray for us and encourage us consistently. Thank you. This means a lot to us.
It has not always been easy, in fact quite the opposite.
It has not always been filled with joy, but many tears.
The truth is...I feel weak. This would be the best way to describe how I feel. We laugh (sometimes) that it often takes both Steve and I to accomplish one task here that would have only taken one of us to do in the States. This wears us out. It reminds us of our humanness and our limited capabilities. When I respond to my children or husband in frustration, I feel weak. I get mad at myself for succumbing to acting that way. When I cry over what would appear to be a "little" thing, again I feel weak. When I can't understand how to learn a basic phrase in this very difficult language, I feel weak. When I try to cook a meal (a natural ability I thought I had) and the meal tastes awful, I feel weak.
{I honestly could go on and on with this list! But I won't...}
All of those things are reminders of my own weakness and where I fall short. As difficult as it is to write this, I have to...
I hope these weak moments don't stop anytime soon.
I know it sounds completely like I'm off my rocker and have lost it completely. But I haven't. I say that because all of these weak moments continue to remind me (and our family) of our great need for total dependence on the Lord. Because you see, we often (at least I do) have a tendency to take matters into our own hands and handle things as we see fit. We often forget that it is the Lord who directs our steps. Being here has been a quick reminder that we do not, in fact, direct our own steps, God does. He is the perfect One to orchestrate our lives according to His plan and not our own. As I readied myself for the day a few days back, God spoke these words to my heart, "I will give you the Grace you need for each moment where you feel weak." In that moment I felt a sense of reassurance come over me and it was a great reminder as to how much the Lord loves and cares for me, for our family as we continue to adjust to life here. I needed that. In all of these moments of weakness (pretty much all of life right now) I have often called out to God in prayer asking Him for the strength to endure (said thing) because I have not felt even the tiniest amount of strength to walk this journey we are on currently. Again, a great reminder to me that it's not me, but the Spirit to work in me. His strength.
Romans 5:1-5 are verses I memorized many years back and help me press on right now. I can rejoice in hope of the glory of God. I can rejoice in suffering (or hard times or sad times or difficult times), knowing that these moments produce endurance and endurance produces character and character produces hope. Hope does not disappoint because God's love (the Hope) has been poured into my heart through the work of the Holy Spirit. It is our prayer that during this journey and process of "character production" we will help point those around us here to this Hope that we have in Him, for an eternal impact.
We have enjoyed the calls, texts, FaceTime/Skype chats, emails, the care packages and letters. It means so much to us to have the care and concern of those back in the States as we venture forward in Poland.
Walking in Faith, Jenny
It has not always been easy, in fact quite the opposite.
It has not always been filled with joy, but many tears.
The truth is...I feel weak. This would be the best way to describe how I feel. We laugh (sometimes) that it often takes both Steve and I to accomplish one task here that would have only taken one of us to do in the States. This wears us out. It reminds us of our humanness and our limited capabilities. When I respond to my children or husband in frustration, I feel weak. I get mad at myself for succumbing to acting that way. When I cry over what would appear to be a "little" thing, again I feel weak. When I can't understand how to learn a basic phrase in this very difficult language, I feel weak. When I try to cook a meal (a natural ability I thought I had) and the meal tastes awful, I feel weak.
{I honestly could go on and on with this list! But I won't...}
All of those things are reminders of my own weakness and where I fall short. As difficult as it is to write this, I have to...
I hope these weak moments don't stop anytime soon.
I know it sounds completely like I'm off my rocker and have lost it completely. But I haven't. I say that because all of these weak moments continue to remind me (and our family) of our great need for total dependence on the Lord. Because you see, we often (at least I do) have a tendency to take matters into our own hands and handle things as we see fit. We often forget that it is the Lord who directs our steps. Being here has been a quick reminder that we do not, in fact, direct our own steps, God does. He is the perfect One to orchestrate our lives according to His plan and not our own. As I readied myself for the day a few days back, God spoke these words to my heart, "I will give you the Grace you need for each moment where you feel weak." In that moment I felt a sense of reassurance come over me and it was a great reminder as to how much the Lord loves and cares for me, for our family as we continue to adjust to life here. I needed that. In all of these moments of weakness (pretty much all of life right now) I have often called out to God in prayer asking Him for the strength to endure (said thing) because I have not felt even the tiniest amount of strength to walk this journey we are on currently. Again, a great reminder to me that it's not me, but the Spirit to work in me. His strength.
Romans 5:1-5 are verses I memorized many years back and help me press on right now. I can rejoice in hope of the glory of God. I can rejoice in suffering (or hard times or sad times or difficult times), knowing that these moments produce endurance and endurance produces character and character produces hope. Hope does not disappoint because God's love (the Hope) has been poured into my heart through the work of the Holy Spirit. It is our prayer that during this journey and process of "character production" we will help point those around us here to this Hope that we have in Him, for an eternal impact.
We have enjoyed the calls, texts, FaceTime/Skype chats, emails, the care packages and letters. It means so much to us to have the care and concern of those back in the States as we venture forward in Poland.
Walking in Faith, Jenny
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