Comparison
I have found since becoming a stay at home mom I struggle more with comparisons than I ever remember before having kids. There's something about being home and raising my children that has brought out this need to compare myself to others {more} than ever before. I find looking on facebook, other people's blogs and even chatting with my fellow mommy friends, that I don't measure up as a mom. I don't have all the creative ideas for teaching my child how to learn her ABC's/counting/etc, I'm not sure what sensory play is really is good for, I can't say I even know how to potty train a child since mine doesn't seem to go consistently in the toilet, I lack a sense of what my child(ren) should be learning at each new phase they enter and I certainly don't have time to read the books that are recommended and piling up on my night stand about parenting and discipline. It's a good day when I have 20 minutes in the Word of God, which I view as much higher priority in my reading list than all those other books collecting dust-yep dust because I don't clean as often as I *should* either! How do some people do it, I mean really? My house has piles of clutter every where I turn and it bothers me, but most days I'm too tired during the kid's naps to even do anything about the piles. I constantly feel behind in most everything, that I can't seem to keep up with this perceived "mommy standard". I could keep rampling on about how I have this bent to compare myself, but let's move on.
Three things come to mind almost immediately when I find myself comparing my abilities as a mom:
1. My worth is not in how I parent and what successes my children have achieved, but rather my worth is found in Christ
2. I can't do it all - nor should I have the mentality that I should try (what's a little dust anyway?!)
3. My kids aren't going to be screwed up because I didn't have the most creative way to {fill in the blank}
So back to the first one, MY WORTH IS IN CHRIST ALONE. The way someone else is doing things is not the way I have to do them and I am not any less of a mom because I don't create all the latest Pinterest ideas! As a mom, my worth is in Christ, not in my own abilities (afterall those abilities/or lack thereof where alotted to me from my Creator). Now, I'm not advocating messy houses and disorganized chaos...I think taking care of my home and loving/disciplining/teaching my children are all a part of taking care of the things the Lord has given to us. But if I don't do it the way my friends are doing it, that's ok. The comparison game is only going to steal my joy and allow bitterness to take root in my life. I wish I didn't struggle in this area, but I know the Lord is using it to refine me as a person, mom, wife and friend. I pray like crazy that God will allow me the grace in each moment of my day to help me be gracious with myself, my children, my husband, my family, and my friends. Where I fail to love and honor Him well, or love others well, I pray for grace to cover over my selfishness and sin.
Every once in a while I come across a blog post that really puts things into perspective. I don't personally know this person, but her post was one such post I came across recently: http://lisajobaker.com/2012/08/comparing-yourself-to-other-people/
In the end of her post, she says, "Let’s not trample what we’ve been given in order to get to what we wish we’d got." Whew, I need that reminder!
So next time you see me, ask me how I'm doing...am I allowing Christ to satisfy every ounce of my being or am I allowing things of the world to consume my mind.
Three things come to mind almost immediately when I find myself comparing my abilities as a mom:
1. My worth is not in how I parent and what successes my children have achieved, but rather my worth is found in Christ
2. I can't do it all - nor should I have the mentality that I should try (what's a little dust anyway?!)
3. My kids aren't going to be screwed up because I didn't have the most creative way to {fill in the blank}
So back to the first one, MY WORTH IS IN CHRIST ALONE. The way someone else is doing things is not the way I have to do them and I am not any less of a mom because I don't create all the latest Pinterest ideas! As a mom, my worth is in Christ, not in my own abilities (afterall those abilities/or lack thereof where alotted to me from my Creator). Now, I'm not advocating messy houses and disorganized chaos...I think taking care of my home and loving/disciplining/teaching my children are all a part of taking care of the things the Lord has given to us. But if I don't do it the way my friends are doing it, that's ok. The comparison game is only going to steal my joy and allow bitterness to take root in my life. I wish I didn't struggle in this area, but I know the Lord is using it to refine me as a person, mom, wife and friend. I pray like crazy that God will allow me the grace in each moment of my day to help me be gracious with myself, my children, my husband, my family, and my friends. Where I fail to love and honor Him well, or love others well, I pray for grace to cover over my selfishness and sin.
Every once in a while I come across a blog post that really puts things into perspective. I don't personally know this person, but her post was one such post I came across recently: http://lisajobaker.com/2012/08/comparing-yourself-to-other-people/
In the end of her post, she says, "Let’s not trample what we’ve been given in order to get to what we wish we’d got." Whew, I need that reminder!
So next time you see me, ask me how I'm doing...am I allowing Christ to satisfy every ounce of my being or am I allowing things of the world to consume my mind.
Again, a very insightful post. You have a way with words, my friend. I, too, struggle with "shoulding" on myself. There are things I should do, things I could do and the things I do do ... sadly the lists don't always overlap as much as I would like them to. I'll be praying.
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