Filling Up
5:50 and I spring to my feet. Knowing I should have been up 20 min ago to have enough time to grab breakfast and hit my knees to pray before the day, I hurry along to the bathroom. I get dressed and ready for the day in record time. I then proceed on my morning routine and head to the bedroom to give my wife a kiss and tell her to have a good day. I leave the apartment, race down the stairs and jump into the car just to find myself sitting to let the car warm up. In that moment of sitting I realize two things: one, that I had not gotten nearly enough sleep and I am very tired; and two, I am almost out of gas in my car. I think to myself, I can't stop I need to get to work because I have a meeting starting at 7:00 and stopping for gas would make me late. I leave the parking lot, pull out on the street, pass the gas station on the right and get on the highway with hope that I made the right decision on not filling up. Cruising along and doing quite well, I think to myself I knew I could make it to work.
I come up to the major interchange just south of downtown and the horrific sight of solid red lights fills the road ahead. Great, traffic. I get a bit angry and put my hand to my head in disgust. Let's take a minute to asses where I am (how I wish I thought this in the moment). I am sitting in a sea of red lights, going to be late for work and running out of gas. All the while, frustrated about the traffic and the fact that I CHOSE not to get gas. Ok, back ot the story in progress. I begin to stress as I wind through traffic and notice a terrible accident on the side of the road. I try to get by as quick as I can and hurry on to work. I eventually role into work about 2 minutes late with my car sucking every fume out of the tank. I head into work and run through my day.
Later that evening the Lord opened my heart to the foolishness of the day and how much it has become my daily routine in life right now. Running from place to place and never taking the time to stop and fill up. So some thoughts that occured to me were:
1. I am desperately dependant on Christ for everything including a right perspective on how to view the world around me.
Romans 12:2 "And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you might prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and prefect." From the moment my feet hit the floor that morning it had been all about me and my schedule. So much so, that I had hurried into the bedroom to give my beautiful wife a kiss and ran out instead of taking just a bit longer to pray over her and love her. Then at an even more selfish level, I would be frustrated with people who just had an accident because they were making me late. O how I pray that God would forgive me for that selfishness. How quickly had I turned to an all about me fest. Selfishness being one of the greatest lies that the world proclaims. Lord help me to transform my mind that I might see and love and walk as you would have me for your glory of your name and not for my selfish flesh. Why had selfishness overwhelmed me that morning?
2. I also learned that I need to take time to be renewed and directed by the Word and to "fill up". Just as I had hurried by the gas station so I had hurried by my time with the Lord and in the Word that morning. Never once did I think of the affects that it woulld have on my day. Psalm 119:148 "My eyes anticipate the night watches, That I might meditate on your Word". This is just one of the many verses in the book of psalms that speaks of meditating on the word. I realized even more how despreate I am for God's word and to be washed in it daily. As I saw when I am not, it is so easy for my heart and mind to turn back to selfish ways and not glorify God with my thoughts and actions.
I guess I truly realized to just take time to stop, be still, know that He is God and be washed in the Word. Pride and selfishness kept me that morning from filling my tank.
Steve
I come up to the major interchange just south of downtown and the horrific sight of solid red lights fills the road ahead. Great, traffic. I get a bit angry and put my hand to my head in disgust. Let's take a minute to asses where I am (how I wish I thought this in the moment). I am sitting in a sea of red lights, going to be late for work and running out of gas. All the while, frustrated about the traffic and the fact that I CHOSE not to get gas. Ok, back ot the story in progress. I begin to stress as I wind through traffic and notice a terrible accident on the side of the road. I try to get by as quick as I can and hurry on to work. I eventually role into work about 2 minutes late with my car sucking every fume out of the tank. I head into work and run through my day.
Later that evening the Lord opened my heart to the foolishness of the day and how much it has become my daily routine in life right now. Running from place to place and never taking the time to stop and fill up. So some thoughts that occured to me were:
1. I am desperately dependant on Christ for everything including a right perspective on how to view the world around me.
Romans 12:2 "And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you might prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and prefect." From the moment my feet hit the floor that morning it had been all about me and my schedule. So much so, that I had hurried into the bedroom to give my beautiful wife a kiss and ran out instead of taking just a bit longer to pray over her and love her. Then at an even more selfish level, I would be frustrated with people who just had an accident because they were making me late. O how I pray that God would forgive me for that selfishness. How quickly had I turned to an all about me fest. Selfishness being one of the greatest lies that the world proclaims. Lord help me to transform my mind that I might see and love and walk as you would have me for your glory of your name and not for my selfish flesh. Why had selfishness overwhelmed me that morning?
2. I also learned that I need to take time to be renewed and directed by the Word and to "fill up". Just as I had hurried by the gas station so I had hurried by my time with the Lord and in the Word that morning. Never once did I think of the affects that it woulld have on my day. Psalm 119:148 "My eyes anticipate the night watches, That I might meditate on your Word". This is just one of the many verses in the book of psalms that speaks of meditating on the word. I realized even more how despreate I am for God's word and to be washed in it daily. As I saw when I am not, it is so easy for my heart and mind to turn back to selfish ways and not glorify God with my thoughts and actions.
I guess I truly realized to just take time to stop, be still, know that He is God and be washed in the Word. Pride and selfishness kept me that morning from filling my tank.
Steve
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